


Nuncheon

by brainofck



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-08
Updated: 2011-08-08
Packaged: 2017-10-22 09:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/236697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainofck/pseuds/brainofck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SG-1 has lunch.  I wish I had the skill and class to make this a real Austen spoof.  But I don't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nuncheon

Sam sat on the high spot she had chosen for her watch. A clear view of the landscape for almost 5 kliks in any direction, peaceful and sunny. She was pleased to see that Teal'c was hiking up the hill below her, apparently already working on the soil and mineral survey.

She reached back to open her pack and take out some lunch.

"Major Carter, might I join you?"

She patted the ground beside her as Teal'c first removed his pack, then his sample belt.

She returned to rummaging through her pack for something to eat.

"Major Carter, if I may?" Teal'c said gently. He had opened his pack and was now removing ziplock bags of sandwiches. Sam noted he was watching her with a sly smile.

"I thought we might enjoy something other than field rations for our luncheon," he continued, pleased that she was pleased.

He had packed tuna salad. Egg salad. Roast beef and cheddar. Ham on rye, with a tomato that he sliced thin with the knife from his utility belt. Raw veggies with hummus. Oooooo. Nutella.

They feasted. Sam alternated between watching the Colonel and Daniel, small figures moving about the landscape below, and scanning the surrounding area, restlessly alert for the enemy, or friendlies, despite the fact that the UAV detected no sign of sentient life or recent goa'uld activity and the fact that the Nutella sandwich was sticking to the roof of her mouth. She was reaching for her water bottle when Teal'c passed her a thermos of milk. If she hadn't been on watch, she would have kissed Teal'c. But duty over gratitude at this picnic. She grinned at him instead.

They munched away in the companionable easy silence of old comrades-in-arms. They watched Daniel and the Colonel moving together. Daniel had seen landscape features on the UAV aerial photos that indicated possible human habitation in the remote past and that was why this valley had been chosen as the destination for their first mission. Now, Daniel was pacing the mounds. The Colonel was supposedly collecting specimens of local flora, but from here their teammates could see that Daniel was engrossed, the Colonel was bored witless, and the result was the usual half-hearted bickering the entire SGC knew so well.

It was Teal'c, finishing his fourth tuna sandwich, who finally spoke again.

"Why does O'Neill not pursue DanielJackson?" he asked in a quiet voice, as if they were having lunch in a crowded mess, rather than alone a good half mile from the nearest person.

Sam had raised her binoculars, as she did every ten minutes or so, just for a closer look at nothing. She lowered them to rest on the scene below, wondering what Daniel had gotten up to that the Colonel should need to chase him. Daniel was just digging with his trowel into one of the hills.

"I think Daniel needs to run somewhere first," she said, giving Teal'c a sidelong look and raising her binoculars again.

Teal'c grunted. He reached for the bag with the ham sandwiches.

"I believe you know that is not what I meant," he said reprovingly.

Feeling giddy with the day and the picnic and the boredom of watching when there was nothing to watch _for_ , Sam turned her binoculars fully on Teal'c.

"And I believe I now have _no_ idea what you are talking about," she said.

Teal'c's hand became super-magnified before it blurred out just as he plucked the field glasses from her hands.

"Why does O'Neill not pursue DanielJackson's affections?"

Sam blinked at him.

* * *

Daniel was eating his lunch on autopilot. He was taking a break from thinking. He'd been thinking all morning, and he wasn't any closer to a solution. Sometimes it helped to _not_ think for a while. Make room for the moment of inspiration.

"May I join you, DanielJackson?"

"Sure," he said, shoving out the chair opposite him with his foot. Teal'c inclined his head. Daniel noted with mild interest that Teal'c had chosen the exact same lunch he had. Same mystery meat, same veggies, same banana, same piece of chocolate cream pie.

"I am greatly concerned for you, DanielJackson." Teal'c began without preliminary.

Daniel looked up from his mystery meat.

"I'm sorry?"

"Your love for Sha'ure was deep. You were devoted to her. You sought her across the galaxy, and when she was finally lost to you, you grieved as deeply as you loved her. But I believe your long loyalty to her has become a habit. I do not believe Sha'ure would want you to continue to forego your opportunity for happiness with another."

Daniel smiled. He had actually been expecting something like this for a while now, but had imagined the words coming from Sam, not Teal'c. He was surprised that while it brought a twinge of sadness, the anger he had expected didn't come.

"What brings on this little lecture, Teal'c?"

"I have spoken to Major Carter, and she seems to be convinced that O'Neill will never come to you."

Daniel blinked.

"I'm sorry?"

"Major Carter says…"

"Major Carter?!"

"Yes. Major Carter and I believe that O'Neill has been trying to control his feelings for you for too long to change without assistance from you. You must set aside your mourning and reach out if you desire him."

Daniel's heart stuttered. It was that same frightening skipping feeling he got every time SG-1 landed in the middle of a firefight. Except this time he was eating lunch with one of his best friends in the SGC commissary. A quick glance around showed that no one was paying any attention to their conversation. Somehow Daniel didn't feel relieved.

"Teal'c, I'm going to have to draw a line, here. I don't know where you get this idea that…" he lowered his voice, "Jack is the most eligible candidate for when I start dating again. But you're on the wrong track here. You shouldn't need Sam's advice to realize that."

"You are mistaken, DanielJackson," replied Teal'c forcefully, but matching Daniel's lowered tone. They were leaning toward each other over their lunch trays, beginning to draw sidelong glances from airmen at neighboring tables.

"I do not believe that you are unaware of O'Neill's infatuation with you. He is clearly besotted. But Major Carter says that he will not…"

"Jack!" called Daniel cheerfully, waving Jack over from across the mess. Teal'c frowned hard at the interruption. Daniel turned an equally angry look on his friend.

"Teal'c, you've got this wrong. And you should ask _Major Carter_ about exactly how much trouble a rumor about me and Jack could start." Daniel hissed. "Do not bring this up with Jack," he said, raising a warning finger. "You're mixing into a situation you don't understand, and…"

"Hey, guys!" Jack chirped. He was watching them suspiciously, clearly having noted Daniel's angry posture, Teal'c's stony reaction, the intense lowered voices. "What's up?"

"Sorry, Jack. I was just leaving. Teal'c reminded me about that artifact from P7X-255. I think I know why it seemed so familiar." He tossed them a wave and headed for the dish window, adopting the defensive absent-mindedness of the distracted scholar. To Daniel's annoyance, Jack took advantage of his apparent lack of attention to steal the pie from Daniel's tray. He was still planning to eat that.

Jack watched him leave. Teal'c watched Jack.

"What did you say to set him off?" Jack asked in amazement.

"I suggested that he has mourned Sha'ure long enough."

"Ah," said Jack sympathetically. "And he didn't take that well?"

"No. He became angry when I named the person here whom I believed to be most interested in him."

"Yeah? Who? Carter!" Sam was just coming through the line, and began making her way across the dining area.

"Daniel not eating lunch?" she asked.

"Nah, apparently Teal'c pissed him off by trying to talk to him about his love life," Jack replied. "Look, I snagged his pie!"

Sam, who had been pulling out a chair, paled visibly.

"Oh, um, sorry Colonel, I just remembered," she began stammering, and turned on her heel and scurried from the commissary with her tray.

Jack turned back to Teal'c.

"OK. So do you want to fill me in? What's going on?"

"DanielJackson asked that I not discuss it with you."

"With anybody, or with me?

"With you."

"OK," he replied slowly, clearly more suspicious by the moment. But Teal'c was a wall of silence, and Jack knew from experience that Teal'c didn’t crack, so he gave it up as a lost cause. Maybe he could get the story from Daniel later.

"So who've you got in mind for Daniel, then?"

"He asked that I not say."

Jack was starting to be very annoyed. "T. I want something and I want it now."

Teal'c thought. He peeled his banana.

"This person has known DanielJackson for a very long time. Since before his marriage on Abydos. I also believe this person has harbored feelings for DanielJackson for as long as I have been here at Stargate Command."

Jack was suddenly very interested in his lunch. He felt his ears pinking.

"Seemed like Daniel wouldn't be particularly interested, though. He stormed out of here pretty mad."

"I believe he was only angry at my interference, not at the name I proposed. In fact, I believe that if this person would show their usual courage and bravado, DanielJackson's heart could easily be theirs."

"Ya think?" muttered Jack, almost to himself.

* * *

Sam stood in the doorway to his office, balancing a tray with two lunches on it. He had been avoiding her for days, which was easier that it sounded. If they weren't in the field, their work was largely independent, only coming together on certain projects. He had carefully chosen artifacts and translations that wouldn't take him to Sam's lab. He had been avoiding Teal'c too, not yet ready to apologize for his behavior, but feeling more and more guilty about his reaction.

Sam's arrival was almost a relief.

"Hey," he said, reaching across the work table to remove a large parchment that was taking up a space perfect for Sam's tray.

"Hey," she replied. She sounded uncertain of her welcome, and Daniel regretted that immediately.

She handed him a plate and he accepted it, sitting back in his chair and examining his lunch suspiciously.

"Hey," she said again. "I just wanted to apologize about the things Teal'c said."

Daniel admired her for having the nerve to just be direct about it. But he really didn't know what to say.

"He shouldn't have been so public with a discussion like that," she offered next. Daniel's stomach was twisting, as it had been since he talked to Teal'c. He set aside the plate of food on the counter behind him. He couldn't eat while having this discussion.

"You really confirmed to Teal'c that Jack has a crush on me? Isn't that treading awfully close to some sort of regulatory problem for you?" he asked softly.

She shrugged.

"My loyalties are to you and the Colonel and SG-1. I can't imagine how acknowledging the situation as it stands could make it any more of a threat to the team."

"And for the record," she continued, "the Colonel doesn't have a crush on you. He's madly in love with you and worships the ground you walk on." She smiled to herself. "In his own way, of course," she amended.

Daniel was horrified to feel himself blushing. The twist in his gut tightened. His fingertips prickled.

He obstinately shook his head.

"I'm not buying it," he said resolutely. "Jack is a lot of things, but he's not a subtle guy. If he were 'besotted' with me, everyone would know."

Sam rolled her eyes.

"Firstly, Daniel, you know very well the Colonel is one of the smartest, most devious people you have ever met." She actually kicked him under the table, making him yelp and kick back. She was too quick. He only kicked the table leg. He reached down to rub his shin and glared at her.

"Secondly, Daniel, we both know that _everybody_ knows about you and the Colonel. Half the base thinks you're doing him already."

That sent an unexpected charge through Daniel. He refused to look at her.

"He has never, ever said or done anything that makes me think he's remotely interested, Sam," he said emphatically, while at the same time thinking of all the little things Jack did. Friendly things. Sweet gestures. Caring attention. Even shared boredom. Since talking to Teal'c, Daniel had arrived at the conclusion that Jack was very, very interested, and Daniel was an idiot for not having realized it years ago.

"You know how he is with an idea that's making him nervous, Daniel. Sometimes he needs one of us to give him a little push. Convince him that it can work. Convince him that the benefits are worth the risk. We do it every day. And _you_ do it better than anyone."

The power behind Sam's words left Daniel speechless. When he had nothing to say and wouldn't meet her eyes, Sam sighed and stood, she left him a banana and a piece of pecan pie.

* * *

Jack wandered into Daniel's office. He was skipping lunch. Well, actually, the SG team leaders were having their quarterly meeting with Hammond to discuss the possibilities for about 30 new gateworlds. Hammond always catered in an excellent spread.

He puttered around Daniel's office as he always did. Daniel muttered an acknowledgement of his arrival and continued on with his work. That was fine with Jack. He was looking for something.

He found it.

"You figure this thing out, then?" Jack asked.

"Hmmmm?" Daniel wasn't paying him the slightest attention.

Jack placed the palm-sized disk on the page beside Daniel's scribbling hand.

He paused and looked up.

"Did you care about this in particular?" Daniel asked, looking befuddled. It was the look he got when his brain was thinking one thing but the rest of him was attempting to engage in conversation.

"I thought Teal'c gave you the magic solution to this little critter at lunch the other day. The mysterious artifact from P7X-255?"

"Didn't get anywhere with it after all," Daniel said blandly. "Sorry, Jack, I'm kinda in a different headspace right now…"

"What Teal'c said really shook you, didn't it? What could Teal'c have possibly said?"

Daniel finally gave him his full attention.

"He told you, didn't he."

"No. Not really. But it shook you, didn't it?" Jack persisted.

Daniel shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes, it did."

"Why, exactly?" Jack persisted.

Daniel looked at him hard.

"Well…" Daniel said carefully. "At first, I thought he was wrong. And I was terrified that he was saying that in the middle of a room full of 150 or so proud members of the United States Air Force. And he was saying that to _Sam_ and Sam _agreed_ with him. He took me by surprise."

"So that's it. You didn't want people to hear that? I'm kinda surprised that would be your attitude." Jack's disappointment was obvious.

"Surprised? Surprised that I wouldn't want SG-1 to be damaged by some sort of confused rumor? Surprised that I wouldn't want us both to get thrown out of this place on our asses? Surprised that I wouldn't want to lose my best friend in some sort of romantic misunderstanding?!"

By the time he finished, he was nearly shouting. Jack looked startled. He held up his hands placatingly.

"Sorry. Of course not."

"Jack," Colonel Hansen from SG-14 poked her head around the corner. "Better get moving. The General will have your ass if you're the last one there again."

All the color washed out of Daniel's face and he sat down hard in his chair.

"Gotta go…" Jack said hesitantly. Daniel waved him off. Jack followed Hansen down the corridor.

* * *

Jack was already in line when Daniel arrived.

He was three trays ahead of him.

Suddenly, Daniel made a decision. Plus Jack owed him a piece of chocolate cream pie.

Sam saw him, but Daniel shushed her greeting with a finger to his lips and his best sneaky grin. She looked duly suspicious, but went back to hunting for her blue jello, watching him from the corner of her eye.

Jack chose chocolate cream pie.

Daniel shadowed Sam down the line, just outside Jack's peripheral vision.

As soon as Jack was walking away from the cashier, Daniel pounced. He snatched the pie off Jack's tray and ran. He didn't even wait to see if Jack would chase him. He just tore down the corridors, dodged into a conveniently unlocked storage closet, hid in the darkest corner, and proceeded to eat the pie with the fork he had tucked into his pocket.

He heard Jack enter the room through the door Daniel had left deliberately cracked. Daniel oh-so-carefully slid the empty plate onto a nearby shelf and drew himself into the darkest, most remote corner of the closet.

It took Jack all of thirty seconds to find him.

Daniel grinned at him broadly and licked his lips.

Jack's eyes narrowed.

"I want my pie back."

"Teal'c thought you would never come to me," Daniel replied obliquely.

* * *

Jack's whole body was tingling as he took the final step. Crushed Daniel up against the cold concrete wall and tried to take his pie back, crumb by delicious bit of chocolate.

Teal'c gently closed the closet door and went to join Major Carter for lunch.


End file.
